Gone with the wind

I  saw you walking by

or, is it my mind wondering by?
A glimpse of you in the window

The wind blew your hair

and caressed your skin

O! how I envy the wind

The moment I turned you were gone

I looked for you, but you have  vanished

mayhaps the wind took you in her arms

perhaps the wind knew how to stole you from my eyes

I should have not hesitated

But I was too captivated by you

And now I must suffer so

I look for you every way I go

I hunt you down

but you were long gone

I hope she knows how to love you

the right amount of kisses

the proper way to hold your hand

I ought not to imagine me and you

I should have done something

Anything...

But I...

I loved you when you weren't mine to love

For that, I have been punished

For that I have to wait

And wait I shall

I must... until your heart has been broken

and then you'll come my way

I will mend it

I will treasure it

It  shall not be broken once more

I will not let you out of my sight

Not once...

Not ever...

Never

Nevermore...

Mon Amour

Thinking about you day and night

Excited to feel your skin against my own

During the realization of our love

Unity of our souls

Anxiously desiring for more to come 

Your departure

I imagined a life-time with you
You always stayed...
On my mind you never left...
You never back me down

But everything is always different in reality
And now, all that is left are the memories
But if it was all a dream...,
Could all this thinking-about-the-past thing be called memories?

I wonder how things would have been...
But then, it is all in my head
I needed the tenderness, I needed the warmness of your heart
But you resisted to give anything away

It is hard for me to understand
I thought you cared about me
I thought you cherished me
I guess... I misunderstood the way you stand

The dreams have quickly faded away
I know there is no possibility, it is the end
But I know that I can't just throw my memories away
You have a special place in my heart, my friend

I will remember the good times, 

All the things that I've learnt 

Every good laugh and sweet smile 

I would cherish them in my heart... 

But the time has come to move on 

And to look for happiness within a new dream 

It may seem hopeless to carry on 

Yet, it is worth it to have a dream once more...

Living by Words

Isn't it strange how words turn into unforgettable phrases
How sentences manage to denote love, hate, despair...
And the moment words turn themselves into a fluent speech
A speech, seeking to convince and inspire...

There is one question brought back together by words
Which is formed by four magical and meaningful words 
THE question most women wish to hear at least once 
Because it will bring hope and long forgotten dreams back to life 


But there are other sort of words, another kind
Those vicious words we wish we could forget
Words that scare our hearts away
Words that keep us apart without turning back

Someone's life may depend on the right words
Everybody's desires are expressed by words
And so, we find ourselves under a spell performed by words
But the brilliance of our minds allows us to dream on other worlds

Sometimes we care too much on choosing the perfect words
We seek to express our own intentions
While we look for the right directions
An obsessive act dominates and so we don't say the words

We willingly chose to remain silent
And by being too careful, too fearful we forget to express
By doing so we miss out that defining, magical moment
When we freely get to say what we want without distress

Longing for Love

Reading stories of love
and thinking of you
Dreaming stories of love
while talking with you
Wanting stories of love
as I imagine me and you

What a marvellous desire to love!
How incredulous to believe in it
When both mind and heart are divided
There's nothing much left to endure
But the mere dream of it all...

The Epic Song of love
Wishing to be heard
The Classic Romanticism
Waiting to be told
The Passionate loving act
Longing to occur

No matter if it rained
She would believe in love again
No matter if in vain
Her heart would fall without disdain
No matter if with pain
She would endure it all once again

Time

You move slowly as time passes by
And it is only then when you learn to take a look of the world,
It is then when you appreciate all the wonderful things that surround you,
You find yourself marvelled by all the beauties in out there
You love, you care, you enjoy life

Understanding makes its way into your life
And so you open up your eyes wide,
And you give out your heart
That is how you dedicate your life
That is how you truly love life

Time keeps on passing by and somehow it moves fast
You run towards the experiences you hope to have
But you stand still when you feel nature inside of your heart
And those moments you will treasure
Your soul will keep all of those memories alive

Time seems to be running out
And many projects remain undone
They float in the wind as dreams float at night
Waiting for someone...
Someone willing to fulfil, someone with more time


Both time is a tricky master of your faith
And that is what makes life so surprising, unexpected and wonderful
And all the love you have gained,

And all the friends you have made,
And all the wonders you have encountered,
All of those mesmerizing moments, people, adventures
Those will be always in your path
Those will never run out

Not Exactly What I Thought It Could Have Been...

I've expanded my horizons
Not exactly the way I would have wanted to
But here I stand
And my heart travels all over the world
Giving and receiving love
Though sometimes receiving it it's harder that it looks

But I'm not the only one out there
And you're not the only one either
Perhaps we will meet
But the uncertainty it's what remains
And even if i never find you
Someone else will be there
And before I know it you will be forgotten
You will no longer exist in the domains of my soul

I shall find happiness with or without you
And so you will too
Only the memories of what could have been
Only the thoughts and dreams
Only those will be known for both you and I

And if I ever meet your face walking down the streets
I will be glad to see you smiling
You may not remind me but it will not matter
I will remember the past and what could have been
But long for it no more and just let you be...

A Word, A Feeling, An Utopy...

O! Love 
What are you?
What have you become? 
What are you expected to be?


O! Love
Nothing more than a few phonemes combined
together they create a magnificent sound
a sound everybody wishes to hear 
a sound which leaves us all marvelled and blind


O! Love
Nothing more than one word
and yet, so much more, 
a feeling, O! yes
a feeling which entangles lives together
for an eternity yet to come


O! Love
People wait their entire lives for you
but, are you real?
perhaps you are mainly a product of our imagination
maybe you only exist in our minds 
in our perfect world where everything is possible
will we ever find you?


O! Love
An utopic thought 
waiting to be achieved
An emotion
waiting to be fulfilled


O! Love
Passionate and true, 
Impulsive and wild,
and yet heart-breaking and devastating...
but at the end
we all long for you to come
we all wait for that epic arrival
the one that will forever change the course of our lives.

Wondering about my life...

Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

I'm getting older and I need something to rely on...

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin...

YES, those above are some lines of Somewhere only we know by Keane. Why did I chose those particular three? First of all because I can relate to what's stated there, secondly because that's the way I've been feeling lately, and third well because those three lines really caught my attention, of all the others in the song well those three are the ones I can actually identify the most.

I'm 22 and believe it or not I do think that I'm getting older and yes that I need something to rely on, but someway or another I don't seem to find someone to fill that special place in my life, in my heart. I've tried but all of those (by the way they haven't been many) well, they didn't like me not in the way that I like them (I could say of some of them that it was love, yes it is a big word but that's they way I felt) and even though they aren't part of my life any more well they will always be there, in my heart, occupying a nice spot there. And I don't mind that because they meant a lot to me, but whenever those memories come back to me well it's just devastating, it's the remembrance of one more failure in love. I've never succeeded on that area, and I have always wondered WHY?, that doesn't seem to be a good idea I always end up in further sorrow and the question remains without an answer.

The other thing is that I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin, let's break up that line, I'm getting tired, yes tired of waiting for someone to like me, for someone that I like actually do feel the same way about me, but that seems hopeless since it has never happened to me. No one will wait forever, so where will that leave me, settling with someone who I may not love but who apparently seems to appreciate me, that wouldn't be fair for both of us. The other thing is that, I may have realise that nobody will ever appreciate me like that and that I should already know that I will end up alone, for the rest of my life. The sooner you start accepting the idea the easier will be, that's what most people say when they are trying to give you an advice about your job or something like that, but should I take that cold advice and start making up my mind that I'll never have somebody to hold me close when things get difficult or when having a really bad time, should I? I don't believe that's the right thing to do, but then if I don't do anything to change what's going on in my life, nothing will ever happens, right? Somehow I don't manage to find a way to actually change things, maybe I should just keep on waiting. Maybe I shouldn't think about these things that much...

Is this the place that I've been dreaming of? Why this question? Well maybe because I live in dreams, it's a lot easier than reality. I just hope that one day I can ask myself this and answer it with all the certainty in the world, that yes I've finally get to the place I have always been dreaming of, and this place doesn't have to be a location, a city or a physical place but the place in my heart, in my life, that place that I have been dreaming for so long and that I have finally arrived there.

Hopefully in the future I will be able to write in this blog about happy things, hopefully I will have a life and won't be able to write in it :P  Just kiddin' there's always time to write, to dream, to live.

It's ridiculous but it's real

If only life was easy and we were able to decide what to feel and when to feel it... If only, yes life is full with if only premises and what they leave us, nothing but sorrow and broken hearts.

And then I start to dream an entire life of fantasy with you, about how great would it be to be with you, even though it will never happen and by doing so I just hurt myself even more, I end up broken and hopeless. The worst part is that I know it will never happen but still I manage to fool myself and my mind, I start to dream, to believe... and later on all ends in tears.

And then when you analyse the whole situation you realize how crazy it was, how ridiculous, how could you even think that you had a chance, it was impossible and still you insisted on it, yes it was ridiculous but it was real, all that you felt it was real and so it is your suffering at the moment. And you realize that you have to stop blaming yourself, it wasn't your fault, you didn't want that to happen, you didn't decide what to feel and for whom, it was your stupid and foolish heart who drag you into this situation. And now every time you remember his face, his name, every time you see something that remind you of him it all comes back, all the suffering, all your stupid day-dreaming and it's in your head all over again, and you wonder why can't you forget him, WHY LORD, WHY?

Do I have an answer to that? NO, I don't think anyone does have an answer to that. It's a mystery. One of the many mysteries in this life.

But you know if we relax and let things flow they way they are meant to, maybe it will get easier. There will always be one sad (or tons) of stories where you end up with your heart broken, and the sad part is that nothing that serious even happen, but all relationships are complicated and so are human beings so things won't get easier hahaha, sorry now that was sarcastic and a bit cruel! If I don't laugh about my own pathetic little life then who will, I must try to make the best out of it. We'll see what happen and if things don't change soon then you now where to find me, just walk straight to the path of sorrow, turn left to sadness' street and on the corner you will find the heart broken tavern, yes I'll drink up all my problems. See you there, eventually you will be there :P

Happy Endings

Love..., everybody wants some of it, I know I do, and even though I'm much of a pessimist on this subject well happy endings still don't bore me, it's true they don't bore me at all, I might get a bit depressed after encountering so many happy endings (this, obviously because I'm alone and without a lover) anyway I love watching romantic comedies, yes, those cheese, predictable, dramatic but funny movies about love. And yes, I know they are a big cliché they all end happily ever after, which if you evaluate the lack of love lately you would probably ended that movie differently.

But it's a bit of a contradiction how the more you are in pain, the more you're longing for love. Why is that? Love doesn't mean eternal happiness, so why do we are constantly seeking and wanting love? Because we are human beings, it's a bit of a necessity for us, we feel good when someone wants us, and let's face it we want someone who takes care of us, who tells us nice things, who worries about us, who cares about us, who makes nice things for us, someone who remembers all the important things, someone who can truly see you, read you, understand you, love you for who you are with flaws and all. 

It sounds beautiful, yes, that's why we want it, that's why we need it. Whenever we thing about love there is this nice sensation, this feeling, it's like happiness but better and stronger and a bit more intense. Yes, it's intense and passionate and it just makes you feel good, about yourself, about the world, you forget about all your troubles, for a moment everything seems to be alright... and it is, that's why we need love, if we all could love at once there would be no evil in the world, no wars, no conflicts, no troubles... 

Those are amazing thoughts, unfortunately we cannot live in a perfect world, it might be a little bit to boring and too perfect. Everything always beautiful, without any sort of concern, no problems, just love. Maybe even then we wouldn't appreciate love so much and it will become something like a habit, to love only because if you do the world is better, everything gets better. There wouldn't be much of a point on doing that and we would find chaos at the end...

That's why we need love, because it's so rare to feel it, it's so rare to truly find it and that's what makes us longing for it even more, we always aim to high, we always want things we can't have, I'm not saying that finding love is impossible or that love doesn't exist, i believe in happy endings, remember -happy endings still don't bore me- and they don't I believe in happy endings as much as I believe in love, and even though it's hard to find, I know that I'll find it one day, I can feel it in my heart, I know there is someone for everybody, that special person who completes you and who makes you feel like you've never been before him/her. I know I haven't met you yet but whenever that day arrives I'll never let you go. I know I have to keep on believing, keep on waiting but at the end the wait will be worth it, of that I'm sure.