It's ridiculous but it's real

If only life was easy and we were able to decide what to feel and when to feel it... If only, yes life is full with if only premises and what they leave us, nothing but sorrow and broken hearts.

And then I start to dream an entire life of fantasy with you, about how great would it be to be with you, even though it will never happen and by doing so I just hurt myself even more, I end up broken and hopeless. The worst part is that I know it will never happen but still I manage to fool myself and my mind, I start to dream, to believe... and later on all ends in tears.

And then when you analyse the whole situation you realize how crazy it was, how ridiculous, how could you even think that you had a chance, it was impossible and still you insisted on it, yes it was ridiculous but it was real, all that you felt it was real and so it is your suffering at the moment. And you realize that you have to stop blaming yourself, it wasn't your fault, you didn't want that to happen, you didn't decide what to feel and for whom, it was your stupid and foolish heart who drag you into this situation. And now every time you remember his face, his name, every time you see something that remind you of him it all comes back, all the suffering, all your stupid day-dreaming and it's in your head all over again, and you wonder why can't you forget him, WHY LORD, WHY?

Do I have an answer to that? NO, I don't think anyone does have an answer to that. It's a mystery. One of the many mysteries in this life.

But you know if we relax and let things flow they way they are meant to, maybe it will get easier. There will always be one sad (or tons) of stories where you end up with your heart broken, and the sad part is that nothing that serious even happen, but all relationships are complicated and so are human beings so things won't get easier hahaha, sorry now that was sarcastic and a bit cruel! If I don't laugh about my own pathetic little life then who will, I must try to make the best out of it. We'll see what happen and if things don't change soon then you now where to find me, just walk straight to the path of sorrow, turn left to sadness' street and on the corner you will find the heart broken tavern, yes I'll drink up all my problems. See you there, eventually you will be there :P