No more you around

It seems like if it was only yesterday when we sit and talk about everything and nothing, it was so amazing how by your presence only I was happy, and smiling, yes you made smile you made me happy, and now… I spend days crying over you, in sadness, wondering what could I have done wrong that now you despise me so.

I will never know, maybe it was just me, you got tired of me, for a while I was interesting but later on it just didn't make sense that you want me, that you care about me. Do I scare people away? The other day I was on the bus and it was so crowded, by the end of the first stop the sit next to me was empty and yet nobody sit with me… what does that means? Do I scare people away? Is my presence alone so unbearable that no one can stand sitting with me on the bus? Not even a stranger… You have no idea how rejected I felt, how lonely and miserable!

Maybe that’s why you stop talking to me, maybe you realized you were wasting your time with someone like me, you realized that it wasn’t worth it, that I was too weird, maybe you had enough of me, the simplicity of my soul makes me boring? Maybe so… Maybe I’m just meant to suffer as I’ve always said and rejection and abandon is all I can expect from those who once liked me, befriended me…

The most difficult part is that I haven’t manage to forget you, it’s not so easy, you meant a lot to me, and now you’re gone, you’ve vanished from my life just like the morning spring evaporates as soon as the sun comes out, and it’s like you’ve never been there, you leave no trace at all, not a visible one because I keep you in my heart, my broken heart, my lonely heart.

And it’s so hard to cope with the pain especially when you know that the other person is not suffering, he has forgotten all about you so easily and so fast, you don’t cross his mind every morning, every single day, he doesn’t have any song which reminds him of you, no he’s alright, he has moved on. It’s almost as if you never existed, he could pass by and not notice you.

It must be my fault, I’m constantly wanting things that aren’t meant for me…

Will I be better in time??? I can’t tell, I’ll try to forget you, it’s useless to carry on with this obsession.