Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Your departure


I imagined a life-time with you
You always stayed...
On my mind you never left...
You never back me down

But everything is always different in reality
And now, all that is left are the memories
But if it was all a dream...,
Could all this thinking-about-the-past thing be called memories?

I wonder how things would have been...
But then, it is all in my head
I needed the tenderness, I needed the warmness of your heart
But you resisted to give anything away

It is hard for me to understand
I thought you cared about me
I thought you cherished me
I guess... I misunderstood the way you stand

The dreams have quickly faded away
I know there is no possibility, it is the end
But I know that I can't just throw my memories away
You have a special place in my heart, my friend

I will remember the good times, 
All the things that I've learnt 
Every good laugh and sweet smile 
I would cherish them in my heart... 

But the time has come to move on 
And to look for happiness within a new dream 
It may seem hopeless to carry on 
Yet, it is worth it to have a dream once more...

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

An easy escape

Have you ever feel that everything surrounding you feels funny? For some strange reason none of your clothes fit, that fashion doesn't seem to suit your life, your shoes are too big or too small. You are so tired, and all you want to do is lie in bed and forget about the world but there is something wrong with your bed, it feels weird as if it were somebody else's bed. You try to over look all of these series of strange events during the day but as days go by you began to wonder, to doubt.

You watch out, you stare, you walk slowly for what reason? Well, that's rather simple you're on a quest, yes a quest, a quest which will determine where are you and what are you doing, a quest which will define you..

You began to feel a bit paranoid and people looks at you in a strange manner, as if you were crazy as if you didn't know what to do next. 

You cannot sleep, you cannot dream and you will not close your eyes until you find out the truth. Somehow the zombie-like appearance that you have now made your own scares people, they freak out and it is unavoidable for them to stare at you, in that way somebody stares at a death body lying on the middle of the street, the blood calls you, that lifeless and miserable corpse calls your name and you cannot help but to answer that calling, you stay there and suddenly without anticipation, corpse and body became one, all the sadness which the corpse embodies is now carried by the body. 

And that's exactly the way you look now a sad, lifeless walking body, a human without hopes nor fears, a man in search of himself, in a quest for the truth that will never come. When you decide to make that quest you accept the fact that you have lost your soul, the essence of your being, but you didn't bother to get it back in stead you got obsessed by an idea, the idea that you were living somebody else's life, the idea that someone had taken you to that place, that place that looked so unfamiliar to you, that place that you hated and that you couldn't recognize. 

Of course it would have been hard to recognize the place where you spend most of your day on, once you have lose yourself it turns out impossible to recognize anything else in your life, if it is hard to recognize yourself imagine then, how hard is it to recognize all the things surrounding you, it is not possible. 

And so you have spent valuable time and energy on that particular quest, that pointless quest. You already knew what the truth was but you chose to ignore it and now you are a stranger in your own life, you feel like if someone else had took over and invaded your thoughts, but it was you who let all the misery and decay in this world to become the rulers in your life, there is no escape except that which the mind so easily provides and with which you decide to poison your soul, your thoughts, your instincts.

Forgotten you will be like all those who drank of that nourishing poison which tortures one's existence...


Monday, October 17, 2011

Random thoughts of sorrow


Sorrow makes his way in once again, the more I try to escape, to hide, to ignore the fastest it approaches with his long claws penetrating deep into my soul, tearing apart hopes and desires.

Colours have fade away, no rainbows or sun fill in the blue sky, only clouds and rain are left, nothing else remains, no happiness, no love, no brightness, no life.

Help will never arrive, it’s impossible to save someone who has been buried so deep into the ground, hopes are gone, no more waiting, just death.

Ignored, avoided, left behind… Loneliness is my only companion, the only true friend who will forever remain by my side.

I don’t know what the others see on me, but I’m sure it’s nothing good, nobody ever approaches me, smiles at me, sits beside me… What is that that I have that people only want to stay away?

Unloved and unwanted. I was meant to remain alone for the rest of my days with no one to hug me, to caress my skin, to speak kind words to my ear. No, none of that was meant for me… Sadness, loneliness and sorrow on the other hand were made to fill the broken pieces of my heart, making me feel regret and resignation.

Is there a place for people like me???

I need a guide, a guardian angel who help me find the way back into happiness, someone who protect me from the darkness.