It had been a rough day so after classes I decided to go directly home, I took the bus, overwhelmed by the crowed and the traffic but no more than usual. I get off the bus at my stop and then I start to walk, between the sun rays hurting my eyes and the dust the wind so gently decided to get all over my face I find it quite difficult to see.
I get home, somehow that walk last longer than usual, there's no one home, there's a note on the fridge -"We went out, there's food on the fridge", it said. Submerged by the exhaustion of the day I choose not to have that lovely meal (a bunch of sandwiches put together on a plate, no thanks). I climbed up the stairs, I open the door to my room and I lay down.
What a rough day it was! It's all that I can actually come up with, no more thoughts, no depth meant to achieve today. Suddenly I hear a peculiar noise downstairs (They're probably at home, I thought, so I didn't pay attention to it and grabbed my earphones and listen to some relaxing tunes.), then I began to feel weird, my bed began to feel weird to be precise (not my bed per say (that wasn't specific enough)), the surface feels funny as if I've never lied on this bed before, it's hard and it smells like if it was new.
Maybe I was too tired and my mind was starting to feel the effects of exhaustion, I didn't pay attention to it, the music relaxed me for a while but in spite of that I couldn't manage to sleep, and to add some weirdness to the picture I didn't hear any noises downstairs any more (O! well they'll come up in a minute to bother the hell out of me, I said to myself).
An hour passed by and still nothing (Maybe they've forgot something and left again), anyway I was too tired to come down and check myself, so I just close my eyes and a few tears came down. I wasn't sad, not that I recall to anyway. It was strange, and then I remembered that I'm always sad, I have been wearing this invisible mask of happiness and everydayness that, for a minute I forgot my current emotional state.
An then an idea popped onto my head, was I really at home? was this my bed? was I listening to relaxing tunes? was I upstairs in my bedroom? was this real or maybe it was all on my mind? How could I ever manage to discern between illusions and reality? How? The idea was driving me crazy, maybe I was just dreaming, but I've never been aware of a dream while I'm dreaming, so that was out of the question. What was going on? I screamed but no one seemed to answer.
Odd, pretty odd. I went downstairs, the atmosphere seemed a bit sad as if no one had been there for centuries. Loneliness was all over the place, yes loneliness and then I tried to open the front door but I couldn't do it, it got stocked. I wanted to leave that place, I wasn't feeling safe any more, I needed to leave. I was alone, no one to help me, no one around me. Out of nowhere a drop of water fall on my face, I look up but there wasn't a hint of where it may came from. I didn't care much about it, I was trying to get away from that place, that bizarre house.
I had been running all over the place, up and down like crazy and nothing, I couldn't get out. I went upstairs again, to "my room" and lay down there. Once again, I was crying and water drops keep falling from everywhere as if the sealing was about to come down, I didn't care what was about to happen, if I was to die crushed by the sealing so be it. I keep on crying and the sealing finally came down, I had it all over me, it was just water.
What was this place?- I asked myself one more time, I couldn't keep on crying. Abruptly and without notice, dozens of bruises throughout my arms as if I had been jabbed on the same spots for days. I was losing my mind or perhaps I've already lost it, either way I needed to get out of that house, I went to the roof and without hesitating I jumped, the free-fall felt amazing, I felt alive I wasn't scared about hitting the ground nor dying for that matter, all the suffering seem to go away, I closed my eyes and before reaching the ground I opened my eyes wide open, my eyes hurt the light was too bright. -Was I dead, I wondered.
And so I feel a kiss on my forehead, and it was you. My heart was filled with bliss, finally I'd be by your side. You took me in your arms and as you were walking I felt like I was floating, soon I'd be happy again. You open a door, it was raining outside, you open the door of your car and I tried to smile as much as my weak state permitted me. You drove away and on that white hell I never set foot on again.
