You don't know me, you don't know me at all

Drama, Drama, Drama... Yes sometimes you're life is completely full of drama even though you don't like drama and try your best to avoid it, but somehow it manages to reach you and ever since your life is not the same.

From conflicts, gossips, arguments, assumptions, stares... it's not nice and it's a bit uncomfortable that people think you are a bitch and the worst person in the world just because somebody told them something about you, something that it wasn't true, something that they exaggerate, yes but since those people don't know you that well then they bought it! And you end up being stared and people talk behind your back... all thanks to misunderstandings, to a certain gossip starter and attention caller and pre-judgement, yes that's probably the worst of all because people shouldn't believe what others say about you, if they don't really know you then they should listen to what those have to say and walked away, and not to start judging you and thinking badly about you. 

And there is also the fact that now everybody knows "it", yes that which you supposedly said or did, and it just sucks, people who you haven't even talked before stare at you as if you were the meanest girl in the world. 

I've never cared much about what others say about me, I don't care as long as my friends know who I am, that's more than enough for me, I don't need everybody's approval. But what it is annoying is that someone who doesn't even know what really happened and even worst that person doesn't really knows you, so it's enervating having to listen to that person telling you how wrong you are, and that you should change your behaviour and be nicer with the one "affected". I mean, why do you care? , you don't even know what happen and yes you don't even know me... so stop acting like the saviour of the story.

If you've even been through the same sort of thing you know exactly what I mean, and I'm not trying to make a victim out of me either, that's not the point, it's just that all these sort of complications bother me.

Now I leave you the song which inspired this entry, if you haven't heard of it  you should listen to it, it's pretty awesome, Ben Folds feat Regina Spektor performing You don't know me!

At the bridge

Every single day she crossed the bridge to go home, it was the long way home but she didn't mind walking a little bit more, she loved that bridge, it brings peace to her soul. In that bridge she can admire the beauty of the city, all the city lights, the marvellous buildings, the tall trees, she could think in that bridge but only good things. 

It took her a while to cross it because she always stopped to look below, to hear the water flow, O! That glorious river which awake her soul, the sound of the water made her feel at peace and it made her believe in possibilities, that dreams were possible if you try longer. And so night after night she filled her heart with hopes of a better world, of a better life. 

When she gets home she sees her boyfriend exhausted for the day and they barely even talk, they make love, more like a habit rather than for the passion of it, and when he finishes he turns out the light and she tries to sleep, her boyfriend having been physically satisfied falls asleep like a baby but her she has some trouble to sleep and so she starts thinking about her life, but not with the calm that the bridge provides her, she’s upset with her life, with her relationship, at the end she sleeps tired from the day. In the morning, a kiss wakes her up, suddenly her boyfriend is acting like a loving partner. She turns over to find him and kiss him just to find out why he’s acting in such manner, she feels his erection. That’s why she said to herself, he begins to rub her breasts. She doesn't want to have sex with him, she’s not in the mood so she pushes his hands away and turn over to sleep for while longer, he insists as every man would, she pushed him again, so he leans towards her and whisper in her ear : What’s wrong darling? Don’t you love me? It'll be fun. She’s thinking a lot of things and wondering how exactly he hasn't notice her mood lately and how could he think that she enjoyed last night. But she thinks to herself that it might do some good to her, so she kisses him and grabs his penis, it’s hard and erected, did she do that? And suddenly she begins to feel better about herself because she can make her boyfriend excited. And so they had sex in a very different manner, much more passionate and meaningful. 

They both say goodbye and go to work, on the way she found herself very happy and a bit changed from the rest of the days, and she had a great day at work. At the end of the day, it was time to go back home and she decided to skip her walk on the bridge, she wanted to go home soon to be with her guy. When she arrived home she found her guy with another woman, she was devastated, how could this happen to her? 

Everything seemed to be perfect this morning. He was quite surprised that she was home early. It turns out that every day she crossed the bridge it took her about an hour, a perfect time for him to have an affair with another woman. 

She went to the room and began to pack, it was his flat after all, she called her best friend and stayed with her for a couple of weeks, during that time she went to work regularly, she was lost, how could she ever thought that she was happy? How didn't she notice his cheating on her? It was pointless to keep on thinking about that. 

Two weeks have passed since the incident and it was Sunday, she decided she wanted to spend some time by herself, she went shopping and to museums, she saw her beloved bridge which she haven’t crossed for so long, she decided to cross it, it was windy her hair moved beautifully along with the wind, suddenly she saw her ex-boyfriend’s brother, he waved at her, he keep on walking she stayed on the middle of the bridge, she dropped her bags and stand on the edge, she was quite certain about what she should do next and so she did it, she jumped, it was quite high and she didn't know how to swim. 

The free-fall felt amazing, she was happy for that brief moment, she knew that she didn’t jumped over him, it was because she needed to do it. She hit the water, it was cold and she could feel how the water filled her lungs, she didn't care she was at peace once again. Suddenly she heard someone screamed. 

Fifteen minutes passed by and she found herself out of the river throwing the water out of her lungs, she was 

breathing. She opened up her eyes and there standing nearby and soaking wet was him, he the one who 

cheated on her so easily. 

The first thing that come to her mind was: Who did he think he is to be acting in such heroic manner? Why? Why now? I'm not going to forgive him just because he saved my life, no no no, I must be strong whenever he approaches me. It doesn't matter if he jumped 20 feet out of a bridge just to save me, either way he never crossed that bridge before, why now? 

A few minutes went by and she was alright according to the paramedics, she just needed a rest, he approached her in the way she knew she will, he seemed defeated and repented. He looked at her just as he 

did the very first time he saw her, and she noticed some love in his eyes, he kissed her forehead and drop a little kiss in her nose. Perhaps time will tell whether he has changed or not, either way she was positive, if she 

was saved was for a reason, she was going to make the best out of her life, as to her ex-boyfriend, in time 

and with some insistence on his side they became really good friends.

Now she goes to the bridge, that place where her life changed so drastically, she goes there not only to think 

but to be reminded why and how she happens to be alive.